Patience 意心
Passion 熱心
Perseverance 恆心
Love 愛心
We can apply this wisdom to anything that we want to master. Like legs on a chair, our objective can still stand with some weakness or lacking of one element as the others help buttress, but it can not be solid without all four legs. I don't think I've ever really mastered anything - that's okay, it is after all a life long process. Relationships are no different. Do we often pull away and out when things are difficult and hope that an errant leg of passion would somehow make things better if only temporary? My grandmother terms such hiccups as 小山, meaning 'little mountains'.
I was just in Taiwan spending time with family. There is always something I learn when observing my grandparents' relationship despite (sadly) infrequent and brief visits. Passion has receded into time's wrinkles. Perseverance seems to be born of habit and perhaps even aversion to change. Patience ebbs and flows depending on how much can be tolerated on a particular day. I don't always see love but know it is there; their language of love that has been written over time. Perhaps that's part of the puzzle, perseverance to learn each others' language and patience for its vicissitudes over time. Although I do believe it is possible to have continued passion (even if it does seem romantically idealistic). I think it starts with a solid chair of self and constant awareness and ownership with continued maintenance and refurbishing while the other does the same.
I'm not saying my grandparents' relationship is good or bad, it just is. Who am I to judge? I see only a sliver of a multi-dimensional dance. Each relationship has its secret world that remains hidden from the outsider.
